Yep, as you'd expect it was another quiet week in the Abandoned Video Shop. We had a little trouble with some teenagers trying to break in with their legal highs Friday night, but we sorted that out quick smart. As Old Reg said "I didn't have legal highs when I was young, I had the war." I'm not too sure what he was getting at, so I left it at that.
As a weekend treat I thought we would have a Steven Seagal Festival. We are an abandoned video shop, so it's not like we are short of his films around here.
"Is he the little one who does the beer ads?" Saturday help Leslie asked. I didn't even bother replying to that. Old Reg moaned as I wandered in with an armful of videos, I got the feeling only I considered Steven Seagal a treat. Perhaps I made a mistake kicking off the festival with Hard To Kill, which I rightly described in my, perhaps over lengthy, introduction as 'the pony tail classic.' Sadly Leslie mistook this action masterpiece for a spoof and laughed long and hard through Steven's pained coma scenes and even harder at his beard. Old Reg perked up when Kelly Le Brock entered the fray. "That's her from The whatever in whatever," he shouted. "I love her hair, you don't see hair like that anymore." With that he nodded back off.
I followed Hard To Kill with the cracking thriller Marked For Death, but Leslie had wandered away to alphabetise the Andrew McCarthy section and Old Reg was farting loudly in his sleep. I didn't even have the enthusiasm to do my insightful introduction to the classic Under Siege. To top it all my Wharfdale chewed up the cassette. Thankfully we have another twenty five copies. Sadly, I'm not sure I'll be doing another Steven Seagal Festival.
So as you can see another quiet week in The Abandoned Video Shop.
The Owner.
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