Holi- Holiday Diary .: What we did at the Bone Museum

 

Eastbourne Tuesday

"Perhaps it was a bleedin' rat," Old Reg said when I told him about the scratching at the door last night.

"It was talking," I replied.

"Perhaps it was Roland Rat."

I didn't bother telling Old Reg about seeing Mrs Brannigan on the pier, because he launched into a tawdry story of his antics the previous night that made a mad woman conducting demon birds seem like an episode of the Telly Tubbies.

"So what we bleedin' well doin' today?" Old Reg said after his nasty story was, thankfully, concluded.

I shrugged.

"I picked this leaflet up downstairs," he said handing it to me.

"The Eastbourne Bone Museum?" I said unable to keep the shock out of my voice. "I'm not sure I want to walk around a bone museum."

"Well I do have a couple of phone numbers from ladies I met last night," Old Reg smiled. "Perhaps we could-"

"The bone museum it is then!"

The bone museum was hard to find, but eventually we discovered it down a back road off a back road. It looked like one of those shops from a horror anthology, I almost expected Peter Cushing to greet us.

"Hello," the woman behind the counter said cheerily. "Have you come to see our new exhibition?"

"I sincerely doubt it," Old Reg said being his usual rude self.

"It's Dog Bones of the World," she said sounding like we would be mad to miss it.

"That seems interesting," I lied.

"What's that bleedin smell?" Old Reg asked her.

"Bones," she smiled.

The Bone Museum was pretty dull, as Old Reg said : "If you've seen one bleedin' bone you've seen 'em all." and he was right. But they did have a celebrity section, which included Billy Fury's metatarsal.

"That's not Billy Fury's metatarsal," Old Reg said firmly. "I'd know Billy's metatarsal anywhere."

As we left thoroughly bored the woman behind the counter stopped us.

"Could you give this  to Mrs Brannigan," she said handing us a head shaped bag much like the one we had given her yesterday from Mr. Apollyon.

"Of course," I said hiding my shock and curiosity; the woman didn't look like the type to answer questions.

"Shall we look in it?" Old Reg said when we were a fair distance from the bone museum.

"I-I don't know," I replied.

"Let's bleedin' well look."

 

TO BE CONTINUED... 

The Owner