A few months back we had thousands of copies of Bula Quo! left on our doorstep, here at the Abandoned Video Shop. Well someone must've thought that was a good idea, because now we've had thirty thousand copies of Run For Your Wife dumped on us. They came with a note that said : Every copy in existence, please look after them.
After we had dragged them all in we thought we might as well have a look. And as Old Reg said : "Bleedin' hell this makes that Bula Quo thing look like The Godfather."
And was he ever right.
Written and directed by Ray Cooney ( Let's name and shame ) Run For Your Wife is a farce in every conceivable aspect, except when it comes to humour. Cab driver John Smith ( Danny Dyer and he is ) gets bashed on the head and his weak attempts at bigamy come unravelled with hilarious consequences. Yep, chirpy chappie John has two wives and I'm losing the will to live just telling you about it so imagine how bad it is to watch. Both of our Saturday help twins, Leslie and Lesley had to leave due to vomiting brought on by abject boredom. The thing is this film is not just outdated and a complete laugh free zone, it stinks on every level ever invented. And it is not like you can pick out the terrible performances, everyone is at it.Neil Morrissey as best friend Gary has never been worse and Denise Van Outen is so bad she physically left a smell behind her while we were watching.
"Is that you on the pickled onions again?" I said to Old Reg.
"No it's her she's so bleedin bad," he said pointing at a gurning Ms Van Outen.
And there is Danny Dyer stuck in the middle of all this, just as terrible as everyone else, only he's on screen longer so he seems worse. The only bright spot in this, like a fifty pence piece stuck in a dog turd, is Sarah Harding's midriff. It is on show quite a lot and could hold its own in a much better film. ( And all films are much better than Run For Your Wife. ) Add to this Devil's goulash a million walk on cameos from a million actors who should know better and you have the Gold Standard dreadful film, all it really needs is an Adam Sandller US remake to top off the whole experience.
We have now put all the thousands of copies of Run For Your Wife with all the Bula Quo's in the deepest, darkest room in the Abandoned Video Shop and firmly locked the door. Let's just hope they don't breed.
The Owner
