We have had a bit of bother here at the Abandoned Video Shop. We have been infested with 1980's Musical rats. I know that sounds a bit odd, but things can get a bit odd around here. You see we have quite a few of rooms and over the years we have closed a lot of them up. Especially as demand for VHS faded. Although it has never faded from our hearts, has it? Anyway, me and old Reg would gather up all our surplus copies of a film, that is any over fifty and just dump them in a room and, well, seal her off for good. Much like the Ancient Egyptians did, only they did it with bodies and riches not old VHS tapes that no one really wants. One such room contained all our no longer needed copies of Footloose and Dirty Dancing. We closed it up and thought no more about it until last week; when Leslie, one of our Saturday help twins, came up to us and said she could hear musical squeaking coming from a room. Me and Old Reg went to listen and sure enough Leslie was right.
"It Sounds like Let's Hear It for the bleedin' Boy," Old Reg said, with his ear pressed firmly to the door.
"We've got 80's musical rats," I said as the squeaks changed to The Time of My Life."
"They've eaten all the bleedin' copies," Old Reg said.
Now, I'm not sure if you know this, but VHS tape not only records, but embodies the film itself. So if you eat it, the film becomes part of you forever. Now don't try this at home, because every film can have its hidden hazards. Besides tape doesn't taste that great, believe me. But this is something that doesn't bother rats.
"What that noise?" Leslie said.
It was a collective, unnerving scraping sound.
"They're dancin' like Kevin bleedin' Bacon," Old Reg said a look of concern crossing his craggy face.
"What does that mean?" Leslie asked.
"It means we've got trouble," I replied.
The Owner
TO BE CONTINUED...
